A GIRL’S ACT OF COMPASSION CAUSES DRESS CODE TROUBLE IN TROUBLE AT SCHOOL

You've likely heard by now that a nine year old Colorado girl shaved her hair off in solidarity with her close friend who had lost her hair from cancer treatment; she was initially told she couldn't come to school with a shaved head because it violated the schools written Dress Code (http://www.nbcnews.com/nightly-news/7-stories-skim-9-year-old-punished-act-compassion-n61691).

According to the cited NBC news report, one school board member voted against making an exception to the Code which allowed the nine year old to return to school. His opinion is, as I hear it, our country needs to get back to making more decisions based on the letter of the laws or rules rather than "emotion" (http://www.nbcnews.com/nightly-news/7-stories-skim-9-year-old-punished-act-compassion-n61691). Maybe there is some truth in his belief. However, fundamentally I disagree with him though I wouldn't want this to keep us from a civil dialogue.

Although the school board member in question might not be guilty of an attitude of Legalism, what he said points in that direction and I have come to have little tolerance for: Legalism as an attitude. One of the smarter guys I've known is fond of saying that every moral or ethical decision of significance is actually being made for the very first time, if done right.

In other words, every situation has mitigating circumstances although some situations appear as about as black and white as possible. In still other words even those who claim for religious reasons or other principles that Situation Ethics is wrong - period, are in danger of missing key factors that make everyone and every situation at least a little bit different. No matter how well meaning a person might be, an attitude infected with Legalism is too open to keeping a compassionate nine year old from attending school became of a loving act, in my humble opinion. Error I may. But I've chosen to risk being wrong on the side of reasonably applied Situations Ethics.

I've found most people, including myself, usually apply more of a kind of Situation Ethics to themselves and to their love ones than others, regardless of whether they would rather fight than admit to it. Sadly, it wouldn't fit into their sense of security born of the belief in a black and white world. But, if such "security" is a false security are they still entitled to clinging to it. Perhaps so, if it doesn't have a negative impact on others, but I can't help but feel like this kind of security and attitude is doing damage to those who cling to it and humankind in general. Could well be wrong... What do you think?


Nothing amusing about all of this; but the example this nine year old young lady provided goes right to the heart of what is good about human kind! As too many people can tell you when you're going through a traumatic experience like cancer and loosing your hair because of the treatments, those who literally pull-up beside you for support are irreplaceable! Who among us doesn't need a better support group; a group of really close friends who will stick by us through thick and thin?

Many historians have lamented that the U.S. doctrine of Rugged Individualism has too often morphed into a sad, pathological Rugged Loneliness; a blight on our culture. Sure we need our "space" and our proper "privacy." However, I can't begin to list the studies that have conclusively shown that generally people who have a healthy and healthy size group of close friends are happier and often healthier mentally and physically. But, still individuals languor in undesired isolation; even couples often feel isolated from others and too dependent on their partners to provide all of their social needs. Am I right folks? I would really like to hear from people here! So please make a comment - disagreeing, agreeing, admitting ignorance... only on this topic, of course!

I care about my neighbors; I really do. But, we all seem too busy for much meaningful communication. It's true, we might not all have a lot in common. However, personally I have decided that we have settled for communicating on such a relatively superficial level that we really don't know how much we might have in common and how beneficial we might find a deeper exchange of thoughts. I hope it's not just me! Though I'm sure there are people who would just as soon not talk to me; some likely for good reason. In some cases it may be because I have dared to breach the taboo of really telling them "how I am," when asked. Or, maybe I shared something that made them uncomfortable because we don't have a closer, stronger relationship?

I am not saying that every time someone asks, "How's it going?" that we should give them a ten minute monologue of the extreme details of our existence! I am suggesting we take turns at proper times and risk sharing a little more, progressively, of who we really are and how things are really going for us. Perhaps it's partly the fear that others probably wouldn't like us if they really knew us? Or maybe most of us just do have things we want to get to as quickly as possible that we find more satisfying than attempting the difficult task of trying to develop deeper, beneficial relationships? What do you think?

There are many, many other possibilities here; including that possibility that many people feel a need to protect their privacy and time more in a culture that can often consume our time in faster and in more frivolous matters than in the past; among too many needy people who won't settle for a significant two-way conversation - even when politely told their talking too much about themselves and not showing proper interest in the state of the other. I've  been there and understand this dynamic. Unfortunately I can get to excited talking about my own stuff and the unintended consequence is that I'm do a very bad job of listening or expressing sincere interest in the well being of those I'm talking at.

I'd like to think I'm not just being self-centered, but partly just being too excitable and not remembering to work on disciplining my natural, negative tendency! Whatever the case, I have pretty much lost at least one of my best adult friends because of this. He graciously pointed out my problem and I did try to work on it. But I didn't accomplish enough progress. I hope I've learned from this... So, having confessed this, what is really going on with you. I'd like to know in blog comments here even if I don't know you and it's anonymous. I'm not sure how to articulate it, but I believe we would both be enriched by such an experience. In my case I don't need to shave my head. I just need to remember that there really is a reason why we have two ears and only one mouth and relate to would-be friends according. In the immortal words of Dr. Hawkeye Pierce (M..A.S.H.): Two ears here, no waiting...  Peace, R.

A recent, real NBC NEWS story states, "The former public works inspector for a New Jersey village admitted he swiped $460,000 from the town parking meter collection room — in quarters (http://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/new-jersey-official-admits-stealing-460k-quarters-n56981).

If it was any closer to April 1st I'd think this was an April Fool's Joke!

I did a double take and instantly wondered if they had meant to say $460.00 in quarters. But no, as I read on they made it abundantly clear they really did mean $460K. I'm guessing this even exceeds pocket change for an elephant or even a herd of elephants... Or, maybe since many elephants lack pockets it should be compared to "Trunk Change" or not at all... 

According to the news report, over a period of just 24 months a "former public works inspector for a New Jersey village" (emphasis mine) took 22,000 lbs. of quarters from the room where the town kept the proceeds from its parking meters. HOW DOES THIS HAPPEN WITHOUT SOMEONE NOTICING SOMETHING? Last time I checked, $460,000 is almost half a million dollars! I hope NBC runs a whole series of follow-up stories detailing how this guy pulled this off for two years before getting caught! But wait for it... it gets better.

According to the news report the thief confessed in court to four counts of THIRD DEGREE THEFT. I would have thought it rated a charge of at least second degree theft? I was suspicious so I checked the definition of Third Degree Theft. Now I'll admit that Ask.com is not always a definitive source. But in this case it agrees perfectly with more complex explanations. "...third theft degree is whereby theft is committed on property not exceeding seven hundred and fifty dollars 

( http://www.ask.com/question/what-is-3rd-degree-theft).

I was never good at math (or other school subjects) but I'm going out on a limb here and suggesting that even if you multiply $750 times four (the number of charges) it still falls several dollars short of $460,000! What's with just charging the guy with four counts of Third Degree Theft? We'll return to this in a moment... But first I want to flirt with something here that seems even more bizarre.

According to the NBC NEWS report this public works inspector merely deposited the quarters in his BANK ACCOUNT. I have to look up the laws on what banks have to report to law enforcement. But, I gotta tell ya... if over the next two years I showed up at my bank and deposited that many quarters they would have surely thought something was awry. First of all, I don't think banks accept that many quarters unless they're wrapped. So I am going to assume the public works department graciously wrapped these quarters for this clever dude. Otherwise, I simply can't imagine he wrapped 1.8 million quarters... but, hey I can't imagine he was able to steal that many either.

I would have had to tell my local bank manager that I had purchased a really, really big Gumball Machine franchise or I was systematically robbing the children of the town of their piggy bank and Tooth Fairy change... Using my calculator, I figured he had to have taken out 75,000 quarters a month over two years or about $18,750 a week and put at least most of it in his bank account.

Now, as promised, I want to return to the whole Third Degree Theft charges thing. According to the report, in addition to seemingly having been found guilty of inadequate charges he received no (that's correct n-o) jail time! Under a plea agreement he received just five years probation. I'm thinking' many people get some jail time and likely nearly as much probation for just shoplifting $460 worth of clothing... However, and this is important, over this five year period he has to pay back all the money. Now, to flirt with all the question this brings to my mind I need a whole new paragraph.

It may not need to be said, but the inspector in question lost his job with the town over this "Third Degree Theft" incident. Yet, now to pay back the money he has to make payments of $2,000 a month over the next five years. I assume that otherwise now being unemployed and maybe having trouble finding work, it would be hard for him to make the payments without selling all of whatever he might have purchased with this little extra "cash." 

But wait a minute folks... the news report didn't mention a fine of any sort. So, how much may the his clever inspector have already made in interest over the the past two years as the quarters quickly added up? Someone a lot better than me at financial stuff will have work out how much interest he might have "earned" over two years. But,  GEEZ LOUISE - Why didn't the court just order him to turn over most, if not all, of the $460.000 of which he is currently in control? If he is having to pay back the $460.000 with interest accrued, then the payment plan might almost make sense. But not interest was mentioned. Then again, for all I know he may have gambled it all away in Atlantic City?

Actually the news report does say the inspector of quarters will pay the city a lump sum of an undisclosed amount of money up front before starting the five years of monthly payments, which I'm pretty sure only amounts to $120,000. So he won't being paying down the total amount and continuing to drawl interest on such a big, yet slowly declining balance. However, although I'm obviously not a financial genius, I still think this confessed Thief may still be coming out ahead financially.  As for his life in general, I think he has already come out way behind...  

Stay tuned, I'm really hoping NBC does a follow-up story explaining more details on just HOW this inspector pulled all this off over two years without getting caught... In case you haven't already done the math - according to the news report, he "lifted" 22,000 lbs. in quarters 

(http://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/new-jersey-official-admits-stealing-460k-quarters-n56981).

Happy Birthday To the World Wide Web - What's Happening With It and Where's It Headed?

Upon the 25th Birthday of the Internet, the PBS NEWSHOUR recently held a round-table discussion of Internet experts on where the WWW currently is and where it might be headed, moderated by Jeffery Brown. But rather than spending much time seriously tackling such heavy questions I want to share a rather light moment from the PBS NEWSHOUR discussion and just "flirt" with such questions. Mr. Brown had just brought up the question of where the Internet might be headed in the future.

"XENI JARDIN:...And I think we’re all from the last generation that began when there was no Internet. And to really understand where things are going for the future, we might want to have a 14-year-old or 15-year-old at the table...

(LAUGHTER)

JEFFREY BROWN: But they would be looking at their screen, right?"

(http://www.pbs.org/newshour/bb/web-25-years/)

Jeffrey Brown stumbled on a couple of things here. First, of course he's mostly right in indicating that many teens know so much more about the Internet than even young adults that to understand it now and into the future we might well need to consult with them. I know for years many, including myself, people have joked about needing to find a 13-year-old when faced with a computer/internet related problem. For example, I have to wonder if I'm the only older person who has an mp3 player who can't figure out how to download music on to it? In the meantime, until I can be granted time from a young person, it makes a great little radio.

Then there's the second thing Jeffrey Brown touches on here with a chuckle; too often while conversing with young people now days they are looking at the screen on their so-called smart-phone rather than looking at you. I don't mind this to a degree, but if it becomes the rule rather than the exception I begin to find it annoying... Plus you have to really be careful that you have your facts strait. Otherwise, they'll Google what you just said and correct you before you finish your sentence. I still haven't adjusted to wondering things out loud, like "I wonder what Babe Ruth's lifetime batting average was?" only to have a young person read it to me from their phone, before going on to tell me more about the Babe than I have ever known...

When I was a teen few people, if any, carried phones around with them everywhere. And, if you wanted to know many facts you had to turn to a set of encyclopedias. Now you could carry several sets around with you and not even come close to being able to access the resources of a pink smart-phone. Now don't get me wrong, I really appreciate my flip-phone, although I have yet to access the Internet from it. 

Now, where do you think smart phones and the Internet are headed in the future? Well for one thing as Baby Boomers, like myself, get older many of us don't hear as well. So phoning or texting friends and family in other rooms or even in the same room, might be helpful. Actually, I guess I would have to start texting since actually talking on a phone seems to a fading art. And, what about the WWW? Well as I understand it those who first developed the basic Web envisioned it having all kinds of positive effects on our world and it has. However, I wonder if any of them envisioned (literally or figuratively) how big a place porn might one day occupy on the Web? And if so, did they have the foresight to rush out and invest heavily in this "Industry" and do they think it's "positive?"

On a different note, I've been thinking of investing in the wireless video cam industry. For one thing, I see the basic crime rate remaining steady at best and likely going up and many are turning to these little gadgets for security of various kinds. The point here is that from your smart-phone or whatever you use to access the net, you can record and/or get a real-time feed from a video cam. And, too many people are no longer just secretly watching their nannies. 

How long will it be, if the time hasn't already arrived, when we'll have to invest in a scanning device for tiny, wireless video cams? Even now, when we check into a Hotel do we need to check and see if the clock-radio or a free pen is also video camera? Perhaps I'll just skip investing in the cams and try to invest in screening devices? 

Will technology continue to filter down to us little guys, to the point where it will be affordable, easy and fun to simply hide disposable little cams in the homes we visit to see and hear what people really have to say about us, among other things, after we leave? Having said this, I wonder if now even fewer people will allow me in their homes or even on their property. After all, many of them are probably tracking my location right now via my $19 flip-phone. God help us all...

Mississippi State Lunatic Asylum Unmarked Graves, A Perspective

Via CNN Chelsea J. Carter, and most news agencies, are reporting on the discovery of some 2,000 unmarked graves on the site of a planned expansion of the Medical Center of the University of Mississippi in Jackson.  It is believed that the graves are likely the result of the Mississippi State Lunatic Asylum having stood on the site in the 1800s (http://www.cnn.com/2014/03/08/us/mississippi-unmarked-graves/index.html?hpt=hp_t3).  Carter reported that poverty and the difficulty of long distance travel during that time may have played a factor in bodies not being claimed upon death (Ibid).

For me, this unusual report brought to mind the large Central State Hospital that once stood on West Washington Street here in Indianapolis. When it was finally phased out, it was in disrepair and had become a relic of past practices such as the Asylum in Mississippi. It too had a cemetery, but with mostly marked graves. My family had a connection to Central State; beyond my mother saying that if I didn't behave better she was going to end up "out on West Washington Street." Little did she know at the time I had no clue what this meant.

But, I did have a troubled great aunt who spent too many years at Central State. Fortunately, when she died she had a sister who saw that she was buried in the family plot outside the small town where they had grown up. At least in death she was afforded some of the respect she may not have received otherwise. Yet, before I come close to bashing those who ran and oversaw Central State or other family members, I need to note that, of course, times were vastly different and most often they were doing the best they could under very difficult circumstances. Sure, I suspect burnout and other factors, not unlike still to some degree, caused some mistreatment or lack of care for the patients at Central State. But I have also read that many good people, doctors, nurses, staff and volunteers gave generously of themselves often for many years to help care for these unfortunate individuals.

Years ago I read, and if you can find a source please note it here in a comment, that during the early settling of the Western U.S. there was a practice that was often kept on the "down low" and failed to find its way to nearly all written works of history.  Winters on the vast, isolated mid-west prairies were often harsh and blizzard-filled. Some families had to resort to living at  least their first winter in a dugout before even a small cabin could be built.

Handmade quilts played a historic and heroic part in helping families pull through in their cramped dugouts and cabins. And, even with a small cabin with a sleeping loft winters could still be unbearable for some. Women especially who where often nearly entrapped by home and hearth were too often susceptible to real Cabin Fever.  The Western Pioneers likely learned pretty quickly that life on the Western Front was even harder than life in the Eastern U.S.  With a steely resolve needed to simply survive and help the children do the same, they made these difficult decisions and took action with stiff-upper lips on par with the British. 

Before Spring could rescue them some succumbed to little understood mental illnesses. A fair number of young spouses found themselves trying to care for a mentally impaired wife or husband and their small children; while providing a living otherwise. So the mental institutions (we'll call them euphemistically) back East often sent "agents" West each Spring and quietly put out the word that they would be camping outside a town. How horribly sad it must have been for family members to bring these young women and men to these "collection points," in relatively large numbers. Yet, finding themselves between a rock and a hard place these people were caring for their loved ones the only way they knew how that would allow for the survival of the children and themselves.  I certainly didn't read about this in my high school history courses. However, if proper documentation has been made and can be found, I think this could be an important part of historical knowledge of our youth and beyond...

Although gathering points for mental hospitals back East are not mentioned specifically, Wikipedia does have a great article on what became known as “Prairie Madness.” It notes that there is a debate as to whether it effected men equally or just in different ways; women tending to fall into symptoms of deep depression and many perhaps turning toward violence (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prairie_madness).

I know this is yet another "downer" story connected to the current news. But it does give us reason to rejoice in how much progress has been made in caring for people who are ill in nearly any way; though much still remains to be done. In thinking about this, and the relatively recent advent of penicillin and other antibiotics and most helpful medications for a range of mental illness I already feel more thankful, even in the face of Super Bugs and other problems we still can't offer much more relief for than in the 1800s.

So while we mourn the lives of the poor souls whose physical remains were buried in unmarked graves in Mississippi and in so many other places, we maintain a reasonable hope toward a future that will continue to grow less cruel in many ways.  Perhaps we can think of concrete ways to express our gratitude to those who have, and to those who continue to give so much of themselves to advance the well being of the human race. Just listening with an empathetic heart to a grief stricken person, neighbor or stranger, can begin to link us to the other giving souls who have laid the foundation for our relative happiness and ease.

Twelve Years A Slave - A National Wake Up Call

Down through history there have been many movies that have had significant social impact. Then there have been an elite few that have had an even greater impact. For example, Gone With the Wind certainly belongs on this shorter list; although it's harder to develop criteria with which to evaluate others. There's an intensity and eternal truth in the burning of Atlanta scene that transcends time and represents the horrors of every war. Of course, Gone With the Wind alone cannot show us the complete depth and width of the horrific Civil War. For example, my school history books never mentioned the horrific scene of hundreds of bodies laying for days in the hot sun at Gettysburg; the need for mass graves and battlefield amputations without anesthetic. I'm not trying to bring everyone down here. But it's not just a cliche that we are destined to relive what history we do not know or remember.

Now a wide range of discussions have sprung up around Twelve Years a Slave. I suspect many adults can articulate the atrocities of the our period of slavery. However, perhaps we have chosen to see ourselves apart from the very worst of this period of our history and it's long-reaching effects. From living in TN and KY for a total of ten years, I came to realize that the Civil War was not as much an "ancient" event for the white and black people who lived in the South. While both sides saw their share of sorrow, the South took the greatest hits perhaps: in terms of structural loss, battle scenes and largely the loss of the only way of life many of them had ever known.

But in more specific ways, Twelve Years a Slave has retaught us just how brutal slavery really was on a regular basis. While we might want to cling to the stories of "good" masters and mistresses that no doubt existed as a minority, the raw, breathtaking truth is revealed. The institution was based on keeping a race of human beings under control, enslaved by brute force - the constant threat of serious injury and instant death. Unfortunately, to achieve this level of control by brute force many white slave owners fell prey to the very worst aspects of their nature and this had to eat away at them in sad ways. Maybe some owners hired men to handle this horrendous aspects to shield themselves?

I hope I will always remember spending a record hot day in downtown Charleston, SC. We went through the old, brick open-air slave auction quarters. At the time it was a flea market. Now I hope it is a teaching museum of some sort? Anyway, it was so crowded and hot and humid I finally had to duck into a little fast food place for AC and a cold drink. I felt like I couldn't move or breath any longer in the crushing crowd and saturated, super-heated air: almost in panic. But my rotten feelings at that point must pale in comparison to the feelings of my fellow human beings who once stood in that area and watched their families, their loved ones, split up and sold like animals in a most inhumane atmosphere. 

Without comparing numbers head to head, I wonder if some of the citizens of our country and others did not unwittingly, slowly but surely perpetrate a kind of pre-Black Holocaust? How many of those Africans went on to live in tortuous conditions and see their families die in bondage as their fate also seemed emphatically sealed. And, not unlike the Holocaust, how many lived their lives never knowing what eventually happened to their loved ones after their fateful day at a slave market?

I don't want to beat a dead horse here! However, I do still believe in many kinds of Affirmative Action. What was done over hundreds of years to black individuals and families during slavery, when coupled with the lack of civil-rights for a hundred more years after official slavery, has not yet been repaired. While current whites like myself might say we didn''t have anything to do with enslavement and little with discrimination, we still benefit in general from what sociologists refer to as "White Privilege."  There may be other things going against us, but defacto, when we walk into the majority of situations we are subtly afforded privileges that many times people of color are not. I believe this is getting better and is certainly not all inclusive of our country. However, it and other subtle forms of racism are still alive and well and much too evil and strong to ignore. Obviously, as always, I don't have all the answers here. But let me say in conclusion that I strongly believe that all of us in the majority have a special responsibility to all minorities to continue to work for their equality.